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HOLDING ON TO HAPPY...

*trigger warning: grief, suicide*

DEAR READER,

in 2012 my younger sister Helena took her own life. i've never talked about this much, because i didn't want it to come off as a 'sob story' and because, naturally, her passing is still a painful subject for me and many others.

 

i’ve been wanting to write a song about my experience with grief and loss for a while, but it never came out right. until i wrote a song called ‘hold on to happy’. you can listen below. it came to me at a turning point in my personal journey through grief:

IT DOESNT MATTER HOW OR WHY SOMEONE DIED.

WHAT MATTER IS HOW THEY LIVED.

 

Hold On To Happy
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‘hold on to happy’ is a song about remembering all the good times you had with a person, and imagining what it would be like if you could talk to them now. 

 

COMING TOGETHER...

grief can be a super isolating experience, it certainly was for me. but i also know that there are others out there who feel the same, people whose story is similar to mine. so for this song i wanted to create something that can make us all come together in our experiences of loss.

i had the idea of creating a music video for 'hold on to happy' that is made of photos and footage of the people we have lost. so that together, we can hold space and remember. but to do this, i need your help. 

 

if you'd like to be a part of this music video you can submit photos and/or footage of the people that you have lost or that you are missing to my email address below*:

HELLOKAHLLAMUSIC@GMAIL.COM

Please also let me know:

1. your name (don't worry, i will not share this)

2. optional - name of the person you want to remember.

they will be listed in the end credits.

3. optional - anything else you'd like to share

the photos/footage can, but do not have to include you. and by the way - the definition of 'loss' here is completely up to you, it doesn't have to mean death. your submissions will be treated confidentially and with the greatest respect and care. 

 

thank you. all my love, 

 

Kahlla x

* submissions will be treated anonymously and your name will not be mentioned. by submitting you give Kahlla permission to use all submitted materials and the name (if shared) of the person you want to remember for the video of 'hold on to happy'. clips from the video may be used for promotional purposes, such as facebook ads. 

Hold On To Happy

How are you?
Feels like forever since I’ve seen your face
or heard your voice
in my memory it loses shape
Tell me all about your life
and whatever has happened since I left
I’m here to be reminded of
What I used to be desperate to forget

I try to hold on to happy

Come over
I’ll introduce you to all my friends
We’ll ride our bikes
through Hyde Park and the West End
They ask where I’ve been hiding you
Well, I couldn’t share you just yet
but now I’m here to be reminded of
what I am terrified to forget

I try to hold on to happy
this tidal wave of a memory
comes up and washes over me
but I try to hold on to happy
try to hold on
try to hold on
try to hold on
to hold on to happy

and honestly, it’s been a joy
to see how much you’ve changed
I’ll let you go, at least for now
but til I see you again

don’t be a stranger